Thursday, the 6th of November
Today I had the day on my own. I started in a great mood, followed my own structure and routine. I got dressed, did a workout, washed my face, brushed my teeth, worked on my business, and had breakfast at the hotel.
It feels pretty weird, but even when I do all of my business tasks like I do when I'm at home (the only thing that's different is that I watch fewer calls), I feel like I'm behind and don't make any progress. It feels like this because I watch others thriving and growing their teams in our Unfold Your Freedom Facebook group, and because I'm further away, I feel like I miss out on a lot. Did I do something wrong, or is it just in my head?
I'm going to start feeling like a failure, and I recognize my mentor in this business isn't that enthusiastic or in touch with me at the moment. I know I'm an independent person, but I do honor the connection with my business partners.
I guess it's because I'm now here, in Cambodia, and feel way more on my own than in the Netherlands. Even when I see that the connection is quite okay with the people at home, it's in my head that I'm 6 hours ahead, that I'm miles away, and fully have to figure it out on myself.
'Hey, Romy, that's exactly what you came here for; to take full responsibility of your own life, the person you are, and learn to stretch your back, keep your head up, and look what's scaring you in the eye instead of hiding.'
After breakfast, I packed my water, my bag, my sunscreen and the exploring part of my day began. I started walking alongside the road, but it didn't take long before a tuk-tuk came along and I hopped on it to go to the floating villages near the Tonle Sap Lake, which lay about 15 kilometres ahead of Siem Reap. When I arrived, it amazed me again how these people can live with so little, yet in an environment that's totally cluttered with trash and plastic. Don't get me wrong; the people are heart-warming and very grateful, but they don't have a clue about what it does if you treat the environment like this on a larger scale for themselves and our planet. Most of them also sell food and drinks alongside the roads, but nowhere is a trashcan or a container to throw away the boxes, bottles, straws and bags.
I think they don't really know how to handle it, or should they just be lazy?
While I was walking towards the boats, I sweated heavily. I was overheated, didn't get on the boat, walked back, sat down, took some rest and had a refreshing drink. It was too much to handle. For sure, I'm better performing in warm than in cold places, but 'too' is always an exception. I watched the boats on the water, the people passing by, took some pictures and walked back to the village to go back with another tuk-tuk to Siem Reap.
I do have to say that I felt very welcome, because while I was walking alongside the road, alongside the houses of the people who lived there, they waved, smiled, said 'hello' and wanted to take a picture with me.
Of course, some people see me as a 'western' girl, someone with money, and I have been asked a lot to give some dollars. I smiled and gently said 'no'. Not because I don't want to give something, but if one person is getting something and the others see it, they will probably take my whole bag.
Just before I left the hotel to go out for dinner, I went to the front desk and gave them a handwritten letter. I told them about my gratitude, my vision, my perspective, and my honor to be there. I shared more about my business, what I do, and how I may be of any help to them at their hotel, and gave my business card with my contact details. What do I share?
Because I saw and noticed a lot of effort, attention, and investment is going to spa and wellness centres, and we now have something amazing within our company that gives the best, most relaxing, healthiest, and hydrating solution to a busy and inconvenient life: the Anespa Spa Shower. I talked about it and even when I know the chance is quite big that I'll never hear of them again, I shared, I had a conversation, and I dare to speak to people instead of keeping my mouth shut and waiting till others come to me.
What I also do more and more is start conversations online with people whom I know, but with whom I don't really feel like having a connection. These are people from my high school period, people who are strong in their words, who overruled me or were popular at that time. I know it's just a message to reach out to them, but I feel there's a lot of pressure behind it, and I want to challenge myself to push through that inner fear and send a message anyway. Sometimes it feels like I want to grow so badly, see good results, but no one wants to run or grow with me, which makes me question the whole situation.
I know it's not true, and that I just have to keep going and be patient, but real and proper results next to the personal growth may do a lot to my self belief.
Have the guts to be true to yourself. Nothing more.
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