12 november
I'm taking the guided days for granted, while I'm learning a great deal about the culture, society, history, and current circumstances. However, I feel forced in different kinds of ways, and I'm really comfortable with building routines and sticking to them. Of course, there are exceptions, but most of the time I love to follow my own structure.
So today I had a full day on my own. I could do what I wanted to do without rushing it, and that feels so good! After breakfast, I went back to my room, looked at the pinned points I had collected in my Google Maps and went out. Firstly, I walked over to an art café/museum, where old German art and pictures hung. When I walked up the staircase, I noticed a classroom where children could learn the German language. My next stop was to walk over to a neighbourhood to look at some street art. Very enthusiastic as I was, I walked over to the place, but couldn't find a thing.
I saw a huge white wall, and I guess there had been some street art in the earlier days, but now it was all bleached out, didn't look properly and nice. A bit disappointed, I looked where I wanted to go next, and I pinned a nice coffee spot on Diamond Island. It was quite a distance to walk, but also a bit too early to drink something by that time, which made me open to going. While I was walking, I put on a podcast about personal development, business and entrepreneurship. Finally, I came to the café, but I didn't feel comfortable sitting in that spot, so I turned around and walked towards the gallery that was on my list to visit next. In my mind, I thought there must be a nice café on the road while I was walking.
I came across two spots that looked lovely on the outside, but were crowded or didn't have the drinks I was looking for. So I went outside and walked further till I came across the third café, which looked calm, clean, and had exactly what I wanted: a vegan Matcha Latte. I had the drink while going over the photos I made that day and answered some messages. Honestly, I needed to cool down my body. It was so hot that day, and while walking, I felt the sweat dripping from my head to my toes.
When I felt relieved by the cooling temperature inside and had paid for my drink, I went back on the road and walked toward the gallery I had spotted on my Google Maps. I was already a bit late, and unfortunately, the door was closed. I do have one day to plan for myself tomorrow, so I'll pass the gallery visit over to the next day. I walked further to a supermarket, bought myself some fruit for the evening, refreshed myself with a cold shower, got dressed, and went over to the same restaurant as yesterday.
Why go to the same restaurant when there are so many in this city? You know, vegan food is something they know barely right here, and I don't really like noodles and rice, so a lot of spots drop off for me. And all I'm looking for in the first place when searching for a restaurant is the interior and ambiance. In this place, they cooked with organic foods, fresh products, the interior looked amazing, and classic, which is totally my style. This time, I chose a bowl full of vegetables, hummus, olives, salsa, and pickled vinegar with a good cup of coffee. I didn't leave anything on the plate, like I always did when I was stuck in my eating disorder.
I deserve to fuel my body. I walked all day, and yes, I also ate a proper breakfast, but that doesn't mean I can't give my body and mind enough energy to live all day long.
I'm sure I've overcome the last struggles from that period while being here!
Wow, time flies so fast. At the start of this whole trip, I thought it would cost me a lot in effort and time to overcome these days or spend time with myself. Especially when I look at my days in Battambang, I was so scared the first day, but I really challenged myself and overcame my inner fears by guiding myself, and also relying on the support of my business partners.
I look back on these days, this trip with so much more confidence, intention, growth in mindset, and overall a lot of gratitude.
Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it
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