13 November
And then, the trip was already over. Wow, what a journey it has been! What a lot of amazing lessons I may have learned over the past days, weeks, but overall I did overcome so many struggles that were still inside of me. I had to step up for myself, look my anxieties in the eyes, I had to go through the heat, sweat sometimes the whole day, and I let the fear and feeling of discomfort come to me, creep in, and dealt with it.
I do have to say that I'm quite impressed, and slightly proud of what I've done here. I was on my own, but never lonely. I worked on my business every day, and even when I didn't look at many calls back to learn from, as I do at home, I replaced that watching time to learn by listening to podcasts while I was walking through the cities, riding through the countryside, or on my way to a restaurant.
I've listened a lot while being a Cambodian explorer, I emptied my inbox while I was waiting for dinner in a café, I did everything I needed to do, and what I've written down for myself beforehand. What's not different is that it's still nighttime sometimes till I finally feel I'm ready for bed. I want to be sure that I did everything I needed to do, and if someone should be doubting about my dedication and discipline for my business, it's their problem.
They should watch me doing all the stuff throughout the day, while following me every second.
Next to that, I'm proving myself that I'm stronger than I thought in the first place, that I run over my own boundaries sometimes, and now I'm wondering how all of these changes will work out for me as a person in the coming period. But today is where I am now, and I had some time to explore, so I will not forget to do so too.
To get back on yesterday (it's a bit later now), I already told you a bit about going to the art gallery that was closed in the end. I put that visit on the schedule for today, because I really wanted to see the works and planned to go directly when I left the resort. I also had to leave the hotel room already, because the check-out time was in the morning, while my flight was in the evening. Luckily, I could store my belongings and suitcase behind the service desk in a locked room.
I walked outside, and even when I'm already here for almost two weeks, I'm still not used to these Asian faces all looking my way. I just can hear them thinking about me. However, I do feel different now when they look at me, compared to the first day that I came here. First, I was a bit scared, but now I walk across the street, knowing that people are looking. Not because I'm a pray, but because I'm a Western girl and not a local woman. You can see that, obviously, so it's clear that people look at me.
What did I? I straightened my back, looked back, felt confident, put my earpods in, my podcast on, smiled with a serene and serious smile, feeling aligned and powerful. ( I even told myself that I would just punch someone in the face if he/she reached out to my bag and/or belongings. It didn't happen, but I was aware of how I would act, and for me, that was enough.
This day I started with a salad, some watermelon, and mango, next to a cup of French-pressed coffee. I feel in my body that it's way better to have a proper breakfast that will help to come through the biggest part of the day, and I did have breakfast every single day, but just a small salad or too little for breakfast didn't really help to fully gain the energy I needed throughout the day.
I trusted myself, what I've achieved after my breakthrough from yesterday, and ate all of my plate. Definitely one thing I'm not going to miss is the water here. I could, of course, fill my bottle at the Enagic store the first day I stayed here in Phnom Penh, but there was no space to place my K8 in my suitcase anymore, so I couldn't take my ionizer with me. Quite sad that I didn't take an extra bag with me, because I guess drinking unhealthy water made me feel so bad yesterday. That wasn't the only thing I experienced while getting used to Kangen Water. I also dislike the taste of other kinds of tapwater, and the most disgusting is water that's bottled. Since I'm using an ionizer, I haven't touched a plastic bottle anymore, and now I know what's in there and how I harm my body, so I never want to drink from it anymore.
Doesn't matter if the glass is half empty
Or half-full
All that matters is that you are the one
Pouring the water
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